pals

>i gave him my two cents ... happiness is his choice, for whatever fate he sets out for himself, i will be here to listen and to give my honest opinion. for now he is lost. i do not want him to make a decision that he might end up regreting for the rest of his life. a fiance, an ongoing long distance infatuation, a close friend with benefits, feelings of guilt and unhappiness this is what is on his plate. i will be here my friend.
>she hangs this question for me to answer ... 'will you pursue something that you know you cannot have?' lust, love, loyalty. specifically in that order... that is what she believes in.
>he professes his love to me "i love the hell out of you". sadly he is in this predicament - he finally knows what he wants in life - and that is me, but he cant have me.
>asks for a chance to get to know me. he can't spell. not my type, but drawn to me. he's been turned down but still pursuing.
>others might think he's the perfect catch. single, no baggage, established ... we once were actually. i will be leaving a window open for this man. maybe in the future - by some crazy twist of fate.

ring

no mistakes, only sacrifices. i remember uttering those words to him ... ten years and i'm back to where i started. this has been the hallmark of our relationship > unresolved disagreements, inability to communicate, hot heads and flaring tempers, too much pride ... one always feels that he/she has to concede though unnecessary. i guess in a way i have made my choice and that is to lay on the bed that i had made for myself ten years ago. i will take another crack at this whole togetherness thing ... giving it all, everything i've got, to the last breath, even if it means the death of me. i owe my children that much. a life for a life. my life so they can live. i am very much aware of the reasons why i have gone this route: save losses. the house, the finances, the children. it will be a new beginning for us ... i hope.

devil

he is owned. someone else's'. i know what i have gotten myself into. a mission - to figure out the psychie of man who is attached and still somewhat looking for greener pastures but not wanting to give up home. it felt good and was all fun while it lasted. the infatuation, the thrill of finding out new and interesting things about the other person, to make believe another type of life other than what is existing, to feel more important and cared for, to be listened to for once, the affirmation that you are a worthy human being. the cliche - 'all good things must come to an end' was the reality and inevitability of this set up... and we both knew that. no life altering losses, just a loss of a potentially meaningful and good friendship.