cloverdale

went to the mall ... ahhhh the cure for every problem - purchase something - picked up a few things for samuels first birthday party. i finally finished this book - stages of mediation ; dalai lama - awesome piece of work. im on to my next (non fiction - the only kind i read!) the freemasons. my goal is a week - but in reality probably two weeks - i mean where do i even find the time to read !! ( or to blog for that matter ... hi hi hi hi ) news on hub - since we talked ... things are better. my chest is not so heavy anymore everytime i breathe - thats a good sign. i guess i just have to pace myself in everything that i do ... he said something about ... me moving too fast -life- and he already stopped growing. hes afraid that i might outgrow him, his lifestyle ... that ill always want more ... do more ... just keep on going. the whole age gap issue pops up again ... my youth knows no obsatcles ... i want, i get. hes at the stage in his life where hes content in everthing ... i guess because he feels like hes already done it all ... which is true. oh well ... i made my bed - i have to sleep in it. ** holdin on **