pika-monkey-sammie

pika - also known as erika, punknak, puka, pooks, peekie, chuckie. ms. smartie pants. she never fails to amaze me. oh the million questions !! " mama, why is your mimi big ? " -she asks while pointing at my boobie- ...
marcus - the ultimate superhero. hes optimus prime, superman, batman, the green lantern, ash - from pokemon, green power ranger - just a few of who he might be - it changes on a daily basis. hes a very articulate three year old boy. he told his grandma not to get old because he does not want her to die. i was in awe.
samuel - little monster always on the run ( literally). mr tiny explorer. cutie patootie.

for jessie

my hubbie. were lightyears apart - age wise. hes old school. five years, still counting, still going strong** crossing my fingers**. hes got tons of tattoos ... a celtic cross, an evil eye, some writings, portrait of an eagle soaring high, omens, X, good - evil ... still wanting more. hes planning to get his whole back done. he likes rap music, reggae, oldies, all in all - weird taste. strong, wise and unpredicatble ... can you say mood swings ?!@#! despite his shortcomings ... this guy is my rock. he supports me in every way. to him ... his principles are everything. when we first started this relationship he said to me... "trust me. this is the only way well make it." i didnt get it at first ... he actually meant ... trust me with everything. everthing meaning my life, our children's lives, our futures. i felt as though i was asked to cross the road blind folded - with him of course by my side holding my hand - he said he'll be my eyes. you know what, how you mean to me baby ... i'll be here, just like i promised. were in this for the long haul. ** fish **

anew

so i started this thang yesterday. i was typing away nonesense ... saved it [at least i thought i did] ... then welcome first time user! IDIOT. funny how the title was saved and the rest was trashed. crap. so here i am starting anew.
23 and counting. three kids. a husband. a house. cars. to others that pretty much defines success. to me ... well thats a different story. i still want more. to me ... career defines success. i guess as a child we were always asked that question? 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' ... i've always answered "architect" ... whoah. (that is not even close to what i wanna be now...) a TEACHER. thats what i wanna do. to teach little kids - make an impact. its this wanna make a difference, affect peoples lives thing that brings me to my life choices. others call it bull. i call it social conciousness. so why not just do it? i mean its just goin to school right? i guess its not that easy considering my circumstance right now. three kids. i mean how do i even get to do anything? a business ... that does not really help either. thinking about this depresses me. but anyhoo ... it has to be done. i just have to FOCUS. focus amy focus. thats it for me ... for now. blogging this is not helping me at all... ive just repeated here what i already know. its time to act. move forward. >>>> go do that amy ...

lost and found

my recent blog under this title ... GONERS !